In an episode of Mauve’s Happened Over Coffee, host Priya Lalwani sits down with Happiness Coach Bhawna Agrawal for a conversation about happiness, stress, emotional intelligence and why the life we are constantly trying to build may become easier when we first learn to be present in the one we already have.

We are taught a very particular formula for happiness.

Work hard.

Become successful.

Achieve your goals.

Make more money.

Reach the next milestone.

And then, finally, be happy.

But what if we have been looking at the formula backwards?

What if happiness isn’t the reward waiting at the end of success?

What if it is where success actually begins?

That is one of the central questions explored by Happiness Coach Bhawna Agrawal in an episode of Happened Over Coffee, a coffee session series by Mauve, hosted by Priya Lalwani, founder of Mauve.

Their conversation moves beyond the usual ideas of positivity and motivation to explore something much more fundamental: what does it actually mean to be happy in a world that constantly gives us reasons to worry about what comes next?

We Are Already Wired for Happiness

Bhawna’s understanding of happiness begins with an idea that sounds surprisingly simple.

We are naturally wired to be happy.

The problem is that we often confuse happiness with the absence of difficult emotions.

If we are angry, we think we are unhappy.

If we are sad, we think something has gone wrong.

If we are stressed, we believe we have somehow failed at being positive.

Bhawna challenges that idea.

“Happiness is not the absence of sadness. It is just realizing this point that you are already whole and complete.”

Sadness can exist.

Anger can exist.

Disappointment can exist.

And yet, underneath those temporary emotional states, there can still be a sense of completeness.

Happiness, therefore, isn’t necessarily about feeling good every second.

It is about knowing that a difficult emotion does not define the entirety of who you are.

What If Success Doesn’t Create Happiness?

One of the most interesting ideas in the conversation is Bhavna’s reversal of the traditional success narrative.

Most people operate on the assumption that happiness follows achievement.

Once I get the promotion, I’ll be happy.

Once I make enough money, I’ll be happy.

Once the business succeeds, I’ll relax.

Once I reach the goal, life will feel complete.

But goals have a strange habit of moving.

The moment one is achieved, another appears.

Bhawna believes the relationship works in the opposite direction.

“Success is dependent on happiness, not the other way around.”

When people operate from a space of contentment, she explains, they can think more creatively and function more effectively.

The mind is no longer consumed entirely by survival, comparison and anxiety.

There is space to create.

Space to solve problems.

Space to imagine something better.

In that sense, happiness isn’t an escape from ambition.

It can actually make ambition healthier.

Stop Living Like an Astrologer

If there is one thing modern life has perfected, it is worrying about things that haven’t happened yet.

What if this happens?

What if that goes wrong?

What will people think?

What will my career look like next year?

What if the plan fails?

At the same time, we replay conversations from yesterday and analyse mistakes from years ago.

Bhawna describes this tendency as behaving like an “astrologer” constantly predicting the future.

The problem is that the future exists largely inside our imagination until it actually arrives.

And while we are busy predicting it, we miss the present.

“The simplest things are the hardest to follow.”

Being present is one of those things.

It sounds easy.

It is not.

A Simple Way to Come Back to the Present

One of the techniques Bhawna recommends for managing stress is square breathing.

The idea is simple: use controlled breathing to bring your attention back to the present moment instead of allowing your thoughts to spiral.

It is a small practice, but it represents a larger philosophy.

Not every problem requires a complicated solution.

Sometimes the first step is simply to pause.

To breathe.

To notice where you are.

And to remind yourself that the situation you are imagining may not even exist yet.

The GLAD Practice Before Sleep

Bhawna also shares a simple nightly ritual called GLAD.

Before going to sleep, reflect on four things:

G — Gratitude: What is one thing you are grateful for?

L — Learning: What did you learn today?

A — Achievement: What is one thing you accomplished?

D — Delight: What brought you joy today?

The practice is simple enough to take only a few minutes.

But its value lies in changing what we train our minds to notice.

Instead of ending the day by replaying everything that went wrong, GLAD encourages us to consciously acknowledge what went right.

It turns reflection into a habit.

And over time, what we repeatedly notice begins to shape how we experience our lives.

Your Emotions Are Not the Enemy

One of the most important distinctions Bhawna makes is that emotional intelligence does not mean controlling or suppressing emotions.

Anger is not automatically bad.

Sadness is not weakness.

Fear is not failure.

Emotions are information.

“Emotions are not at all a problem. They are actually their tools.”

Bhawna shares an example from her own experience with travel delays, where instead of simply allowing frustration to take over, she used the energy of anger constructively to get the problem resolved.

The point isn’t to become angry more often.

It is to understand that emotions can contain energy.

The question is what we choose to do with that energy.

Anger can destroy a conversation.

Or it can motivate someone to address a problem.

Fear can paralyse us.

Or it can make us more alert.

Sadness can overwhelm us.

Or it can tell us that something matters deeply.

Emotional intelligence begins when we stop treating emotions as enemies and start learning how to work with them.

Happiness Doesn’t Mean Pretending Everything Is Fine

There is a growing pressure around the idea of “positivity.”

Always be grateful.

Always smile.

Think positive.

Stay high-vibe.

But genuine happiness cannot be built on pretending that difficult things do not exist.

Bhavna’s approach is more grounded.

You can be sad and still know that you are whole.

You can be angry and still act intelligently.

You can be stressed and still return to the present.

You can experience failure without deciding that your entire life is a failure.

That distinction makes happiness less performative and more sustainable.

The Responsibility We Have in Relationships

The conversation also touches on relationships and the role each person plays in maintaining them.

Bhavna offers another striking thought:

“Relationship is always the responsibility of one person.”

The statement may sound surprising, but it points toward an important idea: someone has to take responsibility for improving the quality of a relationship rather than waiting for the other person to make the first move.

It is not necessarily about taking blame for everything.

It is about taking ownership of what is within your control.

You cannot control another person’s behaviour.

But you can control your response.

You can choose communication over assumption.

You can choose clarity over resentment.

You can choose to repair rather than simply withdraw.

And sometimes, change begins when one person decides to take that first step.

Perhaps We Don’t Need a New Life

One of the quiet messages running through Bhawna’s conversation with Priya is that happiness may not require a dramatic transformation.

We often imagine that happiness is somewhere else.

In another city.

Another job.

Another relationship.

Another income bracket.

Another version of ourselves.

But perhaps the first step is learning to experience the life that already exists.

To notice.

To breathe.

To acknowledge.

To feel.

To stop constantly predicting what comes next.

And to recognise that difficult emotions do not mean something is fundamentally wrong with us.

Happiness as a Starting Point

The conversation ultimately challenges one of the most deeply ingrained beliefs about achievement.

We don’t necessarily have to become successful first and happy later.

We can begin from a place of contentment and allow that state of mind to influence how we work, create, lead and connect.

Happiness doesn’t mean abandoning ambition.

It means refusing to make happiness conditional on achieving everything on your list.

Because there will always be another goal.

Another deadline.

Another challenge.

Another version of “success” to chase.

The real question is whether we are able to experience the journey while we are busy building the destination.

Perhaps happiness isn’t something waiting for us at the finish line.

Perhaps it is something we are meant to carry with us along the way.

This conversation with Happiness Coach Bhawna Agrawal is featured on Mauve’s Happened Over Coffee, hosted by Priya Lalwani, founder of Mauve.